Stress – How to cope up with it?

As we all learnt in the last article that problem is not a problem, but reaction is the problem, but then why do we react ?   Stress – How it affects our lifestyle ?

We react when our expectations do not get fulfilled, but why do we have these expectations ?

We have these expectations when we get attached to some desires. E.g.  when I get attached to my ego, I expect respect from others and when this expectation does not get fulfilled I get disappointed and then I react to it either by expressing or suppressing my negative emotions like anger, hurt feeling , anxiety, rage etc…..

I will give you one more example. When I get attached to love, I expect love from people, when I do not get it, I get disappointed and react to it again by expressing or suppressing negative emotions like anger, neglected feeling  etc…

So now we can understand that the origin of reaction is attachment to desires.

Angry man

When we go through it for short period of time and then let it go, we called it Acute Stress. We get some physical changes for short duration, but if the impact has gone very deep, then it can become the causation of serious acute physical ailment or chronic physical ailments. E.g. A person can get a heart attack or migraine after hearing a sudden bad news.

Now if we start accumulating these reactions in the form of negative emotions, then we are going through the Chronic Stress. Chronic stress will again become a causation of all chronic ailments.

Desire can be compared to fire. If we grasp fire, what happens ? Does it lead to happiness ?

If we say: “Oh, look at that beautiful fire ! Look at the beautiful colors ! I love red and orange; they’re my favorite colors” and then grasp it, we would find a certain amount of suffering entering into the body because of the attachment.

Attachment leads to possessiveness – MY husband, MY wife, MY friend, MY family.

Possessiveness leads to fear of losing, overprotection, craving, jealousy or even the feeling: I can’t live without her/him/my car/my cat/chocolate/pizzas/my job/my jewellery/my music….

We go through life getting attached to things, wanting them to last forever. But they don’t last, and this makes us sad. We experience envy and anger and even become violent with others because we cling to a false perception of permanence.

 To avoid all these reactions we have to change our attitude towards life instead of trying to change others. We should have some knowledge and awareness about some changes which we can make to avoid suffering due to our reactions. Stress management through lifestyle changes

OnePlus 3T (Gunmetal, 6GB RAM + 64GB memory)

  1. Always try to be in present

This is going to help you to stay in reality and not in the past or future negative emotions like anger, hatred, fear, worries, insecurities etc….

It’s not so difficult to be in present, if we use our five senses properly, which will help you to be in present. These five senses are your vision, hearing, smell, touch and taste.

  1. Mindfulness

Mindfulness means your 100% involvement in whatever activity you may be doing. E.g. if you are at work, your whole attention should be in work; if you are cooking, your mind and body both should be 100% involved in cooking.

Practicing mindfulness in our daily life will help you to be in reality and avoid ill effects of negative thoughts or emotions.

  1. Apply law of impermanence in your life

Impermanence means not permanent, so that means everything is going to change. Our mind, our body nothing is constant, there is nothing constant inside us or outside too.

Whether it is sadness or happiness both are going to change, then why we are getting attached to any one of these ? Look at both of them as same without getting attcahed.

  1. Acknowledge change

This means understanding that things will be different from how they are now. Acknowledging change will help you to not to react because this moment is going to change, then why I am reacting and harming myself. It will help you not to resist what is happening; rather it will help you to observe it as it is.

  1. Observe as it is

This will help you to only observe, what is happening without reacting. Eg if a person is angry on you and abusing, you can observe, what is happening to him, why is he reacting so much, what is happening inside him etc….

  1. Accept change

Instead of resisting change, allow it to unfold and try to understand what’s transforming and why.

Circumstances will not turn out the way you want them to, and it’s perfectly all right. Accepting the situation can help you to deal with the change effectively, make the necessary shifts in your life to embrace the change, and help you move forward after the event.

  1. Don’t have expectations

If you go back and think about your sufferings, you will realize that every time the cause of the disappointment was some expectation, maybe from self, from other person or from the situation.

Reducing or having no expectations about anything can help you to accept whatever may come from it.

  1. Always be action oriented

Whenever there is any problem, rather than reacting through your thoughts, work only on the possible solutions. Use your intellect to select the right solution at that moment and just act on it. Your selection may be wrong or may be right. If it is right, do not get attached to ego or joy and if it is wrong, do not get attached to failure, think that you got the experience.

And if there is no solution to your problem then forget about it because just thinking over it is also a reaction.

  1. Never blame anyone

Whatever is happening with you is because of your thoughts and reactions, so never blame anyone else for your troubles.

And whatever is happening to other person is because of his thought process, so never blame yourself for it .

Always remember that only you can destroy or help yourself, and no one else.

In short, always be in present with mindfulness, because nothing is constant, everything is going to change, so do not react and harm yourself by getting stressed.

The Power of Your Subconscious Mind

10 thoughts on “Stress – How to cope up with it?

  1. Good article on management of stress. To remain ‘in present’ sounds to be a good idea. Practising it is a difficult task & needs perseverance. Let me try practising it from ‘now’. Thank you Dr. Sangita for providing 9 strong auto suggestions . Prof.Dr. Shreedhar Mundhe.


    1. You are absolutely right Dr Munde, it is difficult to start with, but once you get habituate, you will enjoy each and every moment of life with a calm and clear mind.
      Try to use your five senses and mindfulness to get that state.


  2. Good solutions. Of all the things, first acknowledging the emotions/stress we go through is the key to apply rest of the solutions suggested. 🙂


  3. Good any situation u sud b compose.take ur own time and find out solutions calm and cool leads to good results.
    Good thought process mam.


  4. You are right with your suggestions, but what I am missing out here are actual Solutions / methods. As a person, you cannot change overnight. This has to be practised. However, how shall we work on that if we are beginners and have no idea how to handle all of this? If you enter a room and you have no idea how people are feeling, it is difficult to understand the situation and react in the correct way. If you cannot even name your own feelings, how should you use your five senses? That needs lot of time and the willingness to change. It is a long way and you should daily try to work on those things, Then, you are talking about living in the present. I was told the same. BUT: How?! That was my big question at the beginning. My concentration and perception will probably never be on a very good level. Therefore, yoga or autogenic training might work for others, but not for me. I should practise more being in the present, but it still hasn’t gotten my daily routine. One method is a thought stop technique. Another method is imaging myself being a tree with a strong trunk and firmly rooted to the ground. Feeling the energy there. I just should do that daily or even in between some tasks and others, but it is just not easy.

    So, could you please share some methods with us that we could try?
    Thanks in advance.

    You might also want to read my blog.
    There are some similar thoughts to this subject.


    1. I am happy to see that you are thinking about the problem and their solutions. Stress is a main cause of all lifestyle diseases and its very important to know the stress management.
      As you mentioned, when you enter in a room, you do not know how to react. In that case be in present by becoming observant. We have to focus on actions rather than reactions. To use five senses, you have to be mindful, that is 100% involvement in your present action and if you are not doing any action then focus on your breathing.
      You can click on following links to know about how to manage stress.
      Please mail me if you still have any doubt.


      1. Thank you a lot about the further details.

        I’d read the first article already 🙂

        And about Meditation. I am pretty sure I explained the “thought stop technique”.
        You might be interested in that, too 🙂

        Take care


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